I used to be confused, but now i'm constantly irritated by the 'counting in beats' concept in the tachnique books.
Example (From the Guy Howard Technique of Ballroom dancing 2011 edition) "Time signature 2/4. 33 to 34 bars per minute. Counting in beats and bars: 1 and 2 and, 2 and 2 and, 3 and 2 and, etc"
Now, there is something very confusing here. 2/4 is 2 beats per bar. 33 bars per minute therefore means 66 beats per minute. But of course, listen to any tango dance music and it's very obviously about double this (i.e. 132 beats per minute. (slightly slower these days but i'm using Howards numbers.)
Counting it '1 and 2 and' is a complete fudge. There is the accenting of the beats of course, but it simply translates as beats 1 and 3 being equally accented.
In slow waltz, foxtrot, quickstep, an 'AND' is a half beat. Tango music can be in 4/4 time anyway (i have tango sheet music which is written with this time signature). We wouldn't say foxtrot music is written 1 and 2 and with the second beat slightly less accented. How confusing that would be.
OK rant over